« More from Picasa | Main | Getting older changes you »

December 11, 2005

Smoke Free

I've been working at a tobacco company over the past week. My goal has been to put together a customized Windows Sharepoint Services Web site. During my time at this facility, I've noted how much the tobacco and cigarette smoke has bothered me.

As most of the people who read this blog on a regular basis are already aware, I used to be a smoker. It was a bad habit that I picked up earlier in life, thanks mostly to peer pressure, and had been a regular smoker for almost a decade. I gave it up roughly a year ago, and other than one night where I was drunk, I've stayed on the wagon. The next day, I really regretted doing it ... was coughing and wheezing and had a terrible taste in my mouth that no amount of mouthwash could get rid of.

When I quit, I did so cold turkey. I decided one day that when I finished the last cigarette, that was it. No more. I knew that in order for me to be successful that Amanda would have to quit as well. We talked about it and she did too ... the next day. We bought a thing of generic nicotine gum, and never looked back. Well, at least I haven't, with the exception of that one drunken night I mentioned before.

The urge to smoke is still there from time to time. It's a powerful feeling that can almost overwhelm a person. But, what I've discovered is that the feeling, even though it can be so strong, will pass within a matter of a few minutes. These days, the urge only comes once in a blue moon and when it does, I can pretty much ignore it and it'll pass without much fanfare.

Now, this is the part where the tobacco company comes into play. We had a meeting in a conference room where people were smoking. When the door opened, I could smell the smoke, and believe me, it was strong. As I stayed in the room, I could feel a bit of nausea beginning to come over me. Thankfully, we were able to get out of the room within a reasonable time and the feeling passed.

Afterwards, I asked the other two individuals whom I was with if they felt the same way. They responded in similar fashion ... it was very strong and it made them a little sick.

I've often heard that the affect of cigarette smoke is worse for those who were once smokers rather than those who've never taken a puff in their life. I've lived around cigarette smoke all my life. My mom smokes, my dad smokes, my biological father smokes, my aunts smoke, my cousins smoke, my grandfather smoked (he died of lung cancer back in '87) ... and the list goes on and on. Even after being around all of these people, and not smoking mind you, I've never felt the kind of sick feeling that I felt when I left that conference room the other day.

People also smoke throughout the building. I've noticed myself hacking and coughing from time to time, like there was something caught in my throat while working. What's interesting is that I'm not the only one doing it either ... I've sat and watched others whom I know are non-smokers doing the exact same thing. What's worse is that I walk out of the building reeking of cigarettes.

After going through what I've gone through in the past week, I've realized two things:

1. Even though I've thought that I was over cigarettes, now that I've been in an environment that has me surrounded by them I know now more than ever that there's no way that I could go back to them. Even if I had the desire to do so I wouldn't do it. It would just make me too ill.

2. I've really put people I know and care about through some nasty stuff in the past due to my cigarette smoking. I hope that they feel better being around me more now as a result of my giving up the habit.

~out...

Posted by ed at December 11, 2005 07:31 PM

Comments

Post a comment